Hello, Out There!!??!!??

OMG it's been like 15 months since I wrote. I doubt anyone reads this anymore... :)

Oh well, I'm going to try and start writing again soon...

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Back to Work I Go

I officially went back to work yesterday. It was... weird. I don't have any better description of the whole day, other than it was weird. It was kind of like I was a high school student on summer break - most people were the same when I returned, but I did have a few new faces to learn. I got to catch up with everyone by talking about what they did over the summer, and what's new with Rusty and me. Just weird.

The most common question of the day was, "How is Rylan?" followed by, "How are you?" and concluded with, "How is daycare going?" Rylan is wonderful. I'm as good as I can be, all things considered, and daycare is going great.

We started daycare a week ago, Tuesday, so that both Rylan and I would have the opportunity to adjust rather than suffering an abrupt jump into the cold waters of reality. On Tuesday and Wednesday, Rylan went to daycare for half days. He did great, and I did better than expected. On Thursday and Friday, he went most of the day. This past Monday was his first full day. I have to say I've done so much better than I thought I would, but not perfect.

Sunday night was my breakdown. I was feeding Rylan at bedtime, and afterwards I just rocked with him for a few minutes. I explained to him that I had to go back to work this week, and that it wasn't because I didn't love him or anything goofy like that. In fact, I told him it was so that he could have a bigger and brighter future. I told him how much I love him, and how much of a joy he has been in these short 12 weeks. (This is where my tears started...)

Rylan and I haven't been apart, you see, in about 50 weeks. When you consider the approximate 38 weeks I was pregnant, plus the past 12 weeks of my leave, we've been partners in crime. Knowing that his starting daycare and my going back to work was the point at which that changed broke my heart. What I realized shortly after all of this, though, is that it broke my heart for the happier. I fell in an even deeper love with my sweet little boy. Each day, I'm so thankful for my little miracle, and I hug him a little tighter and a little longer.

I can't help but compare all of this to the Texas Giant. After waiting for so long, it was finally time for Rylan to arrive. These first few weeks were a rough, uphill battle as we learned how to be parents and survived the sleepless nights (and initial health concerns). It's also been a mixture of emotions (excitement, fear, angst) for not knowing what's over the hill. Right now, we're sitting just at the peak of the hill, and I know we're about to begin the most thrilling part as Rylan really starts developing and coming into his personality. Along the way, there will be twists, turns, bumps and headaches, but these will be so far outweighed by the laughs, thrills, shrills and memories we make. The one thing that is a million times better than the Texas Giant is that there will be one of those little cameras capturing everything we do, rather than at just one spot. When the day comes that certain memories start to fade, or when we want to have fun looking at the past, we'll be able to quickly pull out our photos to remember where we've been. Even as I sit here writing this, I'm just grinning from ear to ear, overflowing with love for Rylan and thinking about all that's yet to come.

I'm so excited for the journey ahead, which I know includes my being at work and Rylan in daycare right now. We're constantly praying that if this isn't what's meant to be for us, God will show us the way to what is. I know 100% that we'll be where we need to be, when we need to be there. Let the journey begin!

TTFN

Training: Weeks 4 and 5

I'm so happy to report that Rusty and I have made it this far, and are nearly done with week 5. Looking back, 5 weeks doesn't sound like a whole heck of a lot, but I'll be the first to say I'm very proud of what we've accomplished!

The "routine" of the training has finally settled in, and it's not so bad. Sure, there are several days a week that I dread it, because I just get so bored with running. I'm really hoping that this whole experience might help me get over that, but I'm not sure its possible. While the "routine" is getting easier, the actually training isn't. This Sunday we have to run 3.25 miles. If you asked me to do that 5 weeks ago, I would have laughed in your face and walked away. Now, it doesn't seem so terrible.

Our Sunday run is always the longest. Everything else during the week is just varied intervals and different paces. I told Rusty that during the week is my "push" time - it's when I really try to run better than the last time I did the similar exercise or distance. Sunday is my "finish" day - I'm not concerned with my time. All I want to do is successfully finish the distance. I know that if I work hard to get better during the weeks, the Sunday runs will improve on their own.

My mile time is improving ever so slightly. I think I've shaved between 5 and 10 seconds off of it. I honestly wish that number was a little bit higher right now, but I am going to give myself a little bit of a break considering how stinkin' hot it is outside, the fact that I HAVE improved, and that it's only the 5th week. As far as the weight is concerned... HA! I haven't budged! Oh well. Maybe one day!

Next week will present a whole new bag of obstacles for me - I'm finally through my entire maternity leave, and will be starting back to work on Tuesday. It'll be interesting to see how I do. I know next week will be extremely challenging for me on so many levels, and in the grand scheme of things, this training isn't my most important priority. I just hope everything goes well enough that this is something I can still take on and handle in stride.

As for Rusty - he is doing wonderful with the training as well! I'm so proud of him for sticking with it this long also, only because he absolutely hates running... I think even more than I hate it! We're hoping to run our first 5k some time this month, but we'll see. I know we can do it whenever we want at home, but being surrounding by other runners is always motivation for me to work harder, so I really hope we get the opportunity.

Until next time! (And be wishing for cooler weather in the meantime - we'll both appreciate it immensely!!!)

TTFN

Training: Weeks 2 and 3

I'm happy to report in that Rusty and I completed Week 2 and are nearly done with Week 3! Woo Hoo!!!

We didn't stick exactly to the training schedule for Week 2 (we made some exercise substitutions) so for that, we did NOT treat ourselves to ice cream. It's probably for the best, anyway. Week 3 has been a little different, also, so I don't see that ice cream is in my near future... oh well.

Now I know excuses don't matter, but we've had something unexpected come up that's hindered our plans. When Rusty worked at 24 Hour, we had free memberships, as one of his benefits. Well, he's not worked there in over a year and a half, but our memberships were never cancelled. I went to the gym a couple of weeks ago, and got in to workout without a problem. (You see, Rusty and I always joke that one day we'll walk in to work out, only to be told our memberships were cancelled, and it's like playing Russian Roulette - we just never know when it's going to happen.) Well, last week, during Week 2, the bullet came out. I went up to the gym for my non-running workout and sure enough, I was denied access.

On my way home, I was actually a little upset, thinking, "How dare they cut us off?!?" Of course it's something that should've happened a LONG time ago, so I had no right to be upset, but I was TOTALLY bummed! So anyway, we've had to kind of improvise for that workout because let's face it - there's not an *insert your favorite cardio machine here* just sitting on every street corner. I've still been logging the time, but it's been spent doing activities that I know aren't as productive as what I would've done at the gym.

We have done all of our running though. It's getting easier, that's for sure, but it doesn't get any more fun. I forgot about that part. We are still no where near where we need to be, but we will get there. I'm honestly so thrilled that we've stuck with it for this long. We have a short weekend getaway trip coming up soon, so it'll be interesting to see how that affects us. Hopefully the little adjustments we'll have to make in our schedule will be good in that they are just something different to do for a couple of weeks.

Keep sending motivational thoughts our way - I know we could use them, and they've been helpful thus far!! :)

TTFN!

Training: Week 1 Update

Well... I successfully completed my first week of training! Woo Hoo!!! I think I'm more excited about the ice cream I'll treat myself to tonight, rather than the huge accomplishment. Honestly, though, I'm really proud of what I did. It's probably been close to a year since I've really run. This week was NOT easy, and the runs weren't even that long or hard. It'll be interesting to see how I handle the next 15 weeks. **GASP**

I will go on to say that running is only a small part of the training. There's a good bit of walking and power walking up front, along with other forms of cardio, like cycling or the elliptical, as well as some strengthening. Of the 7.5 miles I logged this week, only 2.5 of them were actually spent running. The other 5 were all walking/power walking. This morning was just a run - 1 mile. I ran it in 11:50. Not great, but it's the first full mile I've ran all at once in I don't know how long. I'm elated I actually finished it without stopping! I think I'm most excited to see how this particular stat changes over the coming weeks.

Rusty's done very well also! He's done everything except today's run, which I know is on the docket for him at some point. (I know he'd hate to sit there and watch me eat ice cream all by myself. That wouldn't be very fair to him...) I like that we're doing this together, because we can help motivate each other. It's also a little bit of healthy competition. At least when he comes out doing better than me at the end of all this I can blame it on the life-changing, body-altering surgery I had. He he! :)

On a side note, most of our motivation in this is to lose some of our baby weight. I know weight is just a number, but right now it's the only point of comparison I have for how I'm doing. I had 9 pounds to lose when I started this journey last week. I will go on to say that I honestly don't care if I lose all 9 pounds - I just want my old clothes (pants...) to fit again. I like it when my pants button comfortably. :) As of this morning, I'm up 2 pounds, which I'm SO EXCITED about, so that brings the grand total to 11. As we get further along in this process, I'll start having better stats that I can compare. I'll also add that Rusty's gone up a pound or two this week, which makes me feel better. (You know that joke "Lord, if you can't make me skinny, then please make my friends fat!" ??) The ice cream tonight will also help with that...

Well, here's to a successful first week, and what I hope will be a successful second week!

TTFN